


i did it for me, sure, but really for you

by Whyyyyy



Series: cadnis canon fics [24]
Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:20:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29323086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyyyyy/pseuds/Whyyyyy
Summary: i actually think this might be the best canon fic i've ever writtenwhich is saying something considering it has 23 others to compete with
Relationships: Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian
Series: cadnis canon fics [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149737
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	i did it for me, sure, but really for you

**Author's Note:**

> TW for d-slur

Cady had never really wanted to become part of the Plastics.

She’d never wanted to spy on them.

Never wanted to take part in their ridiculous boy drama.

Never wanted to take Regina George down.

But she did all of this and more.

Why?

Because.

Because Janis.

Because of the way Janis had smiled at her that first day in the bathroom.

Because of the adorable dance Janis had done at the thought of having Cady spy on her enemies.

Because of the pain in Janis’s eyes when she told Cady about how Regina had outed her.

Because Cady couldn’t stand the thought of someone who had hurt this beautiful girl walking around freely like nothing was wrong.

How ironic that seemed now, as Cady stood in the street, the words she knew she could never take back hung in the air between them.

_"It's not my fault you're like in love with me or something!"_

She’d never meant to become a Plastic. But she had, and now she had hurt the very person she’d done all of this for. She wanted to scream that she hadn’t meant it, that she’d in fact meant the exact opposite, but her brain was addled by the alcohol and the words wouldn’t come. Janis watched her, waiting for her to take it back, to laugh and tell her that it was all a joke, but Cady stood frozen, unable to piece together all the things she longed to say to her friend.

When it became clear she wasn’t going to speak, Janis scoffed a little, trying and failing to play off her tears.

“Yeah, see, that’s the thing with you Plastics, your think everyone is in love with you,” she paused for a moment, swallowing. “When actually everyone just hates you.”

Cady felt the words land, felt the wound opening up inside. She knew she had to say something, anything, to make this better, but what came out instead was “you made me like this! It was your idea for me to pretend to be a Plastic!” Which was true. Not that it made this okay, but it had all been because Janis suggested it.

“It isn’t pretend anymore!” Janis was yelling now, tears streaming down her face. Each salty drop that fell from her eyes pierced at Cady’s heart. “You, Cady Heron, are Plastic!”

The use of her real name hurt more than Cady thought it would. She’d spent months begging Janis and Damian to get rid of that stupid nickname, but the fact that Janis finally had meant that this was really happening.

“You know,” Janis stepped backward, grabbing something out of the basket on the front of the Jazzy. “I hate Regina’s guts. But at least she has the guts not to pretend to be my friend.”

She tossed something at Cady, and despite her drunkenness Cady caught it. It was a painting, Janis’s own, and Cady knew what it was even before she looked down at it.

“Janis...” she whispered, tracing the smooth lines with a finger.

“You can have it.” Janis’s voice was cold. “It won a prize.”

“Jan,” Cady tried again, her voice breaking.

“No, it’s fine,” Janis waved a hand at the party still raging inside. “Go have an awesome time with your awesome friends. You’ll be fine. I should have known you would never want me around once you figured out there were better people out there. No one ever does.”

Cady’s heart broke then, because Janis had no idea how truly wrong she was.

“You’re just like her,” Janis said quietly. Cady didn’t bother asking who ‘her’ was. They both knew. Janis leaned in close, and the extremely drunk part of Cady’s brain almost thought she’d kiss her. But instead, she whispered “you’re a bitch, Cady Heron.”

And then she was gone.

* * *

Cady kicked everyone out of her house pretty quick after that. Kicking off her shoes, she clambered up the stairs, ready to climb in her bed and cry. She knew she’d have to clean everything up before her parents got home, but thoughts of Janis were once again taking priority in her brain, just as they had since the day she met her.

Cady opened her bedroom door and almost screamed when she spotted the two figures lying on her bed, then remembered that she’d left Gretchen and Karen up here when she chased after Aaron.

Stupid Aaron. A white lie she’d told Gretchen to get her off her back had spiraled into this big mess. The worst part? She was the only one who knew the truth.

Gretchen and Karen were both asleep, curled up together in a way that seemed almost non-platonic. Cady banished the thought, though. Plastics didn’t date each other. Janis could attest to that.

Deciding to let them be, Cady shuffled over to her closet, pulled down a blanket, and crept back downstairs to lay on the couch. Sleep wouldn’t come, but Cady figured that if she was lying down she was getting at least a bit of rest. Her fingers twitched with the urge to check her phone, to see if by some miracle Janis had texted her, but she resisted. She knew a text wouldn’t solve any of this.

Didn’t mean she didn’t want to send one, though.

She lay awake, tears running silently down her face, drowning in all the words she’d been too scared to say.

* * *

Despite herself, Cady dozed off around four am, waking up again around seven to a pulsing headache and a house to clean. Groaning, Cady forced herself off of the couch and into the kitchen to get some Advil. Her tongue was thick in her mouth as she swallowed the pill, and she grimaced, reaching for a glass. Once she'd downed a couple of sips of water (which was all her hungover body could handle at the moment) she stumbled back upstairs and yanked the blinds open in her room.

"Get up, we need to clean everything," she said to Gretchen and Karen, who were rubbing their eyes blearily. 

"Cady, last night was awesome," Gretchen murmured, a sleepy smile on her face.

Cady glanced at her, surprised, then remembered that Gretchen was fortunate enough not to know just how not-awesome last night had been. She blinked back tears as the image of Janis's face swam across her vision.

_"Go have an awesome time with your awesome friends..."_

Cady banished the image. "Yeah, sure," she said to Gretchen. "Whatever."

Karen frowned. "Are you okay?"

"No," Cady answered truthfully. "But I don't want to talk about it. Come on, let's just put everything back and then you guys can go home."

Both Plastics looked bewildered, but they dutifully began straightening the room. In what could have been either ten minutes or ten hours, Cady wasn't really sure, the house was back in order.

"Thanks, you guys." She smiled at her friends. The only friends she had left. She doubted that would last long, but it was nice right now. 

Gretchen boosted herself onto the counter. "So did something happen with Aaron last night?"

"Gretch!" Karen hissed. "She said she didn't want to talk about it. Just leave her alone."

"I'm just curious!" Gretchen folded her arms. "I'm being a good friend."

Cady sighed. "He accused me of being a clone of Regina and I threw up on him."

"What?" Gretchen shrieked, immediately wincing at the volume of her own voice. "Omigod, Cady, that's terrible! But don't worry, we can fix this. Here, I'll just text him and say-"

"Gretchen." Cady held up a hand. "It's okay. He's right, I am a Regina clone. And I don't really care about him anyway."

Karen smiled. "You're not a Regina clone. You're much nicer."

Cady winced. If only Karen knew. "Thanks, Kare, but-"

"What do you mean, you don't care about him?" Gretchen asked, focusing on a different part of Cady's confession.

"I just..." Cady shook her head, too tired to bother pretending anymore. "He's not who I want to be with."

Gretchen cocked her head to one side. "Why'd you say you liked him, then?"

Cady snorted. "Trust me, Gretch, that's like the least of the lies I've told you."

Gretchen opened her mouth to respond, but Karen beat her to it. "Who _do_ you want to be with, then?"

Cady almost told them then. What more could she possibly have to lose? But at the last second, she decided that if she hadn't been able to tell the truth last night when so much depended on it, she shouldn't tell anyone now. It didn't seem right. Instead, she just smiled at Karen and said "thanks for helping me today, you guys. You're good friends, you know."

Gretchen's eyebrows were knitted together as she tried to figure Cady out. "Cady, I-"

"You should go," Cady said before anyone could ask any more questions she didn't want to answer. "Your parents are probably wondering where you are."

"I'm sure it's fine-" Gretchen tried to protest, but Cady was already shoving her and Karen out the door.

"I'll text you guys later," Cady told them. 

"Okay, but-"

"Gretch." Karen put a hand on Gretchen's arm, nodding at Cady. "Let's go." She smiled at Cady, a knowing look in her eyes. "We'll see you later."

Cady nodded, silently thanking God for Karen. Then the door clicked shut and she was alone again.

Her eyes landed on the painting, sitting in the corner of the room. She picked it up, fighting back tears again as she gazed down at Painting Cady and Janis's big smiles. Janis had painted a the three of them - her, Damian, and Cady - at their happiest. How ironic that at the moment Cady had received it, they were all at their saddest. 

Evidently there were still some tears deep inside her, because all of a sudden her cheeks were wet. But she was smiling, too, as she traced a finger over Janis's depiction. "I love you," Cady whispered to her friend. "I'm sorry, I love you, I'm so fucking sorry."

Then, realizing that she was talking to a painting, she gave herself a little shake and went to go hang up the painting. She knew what she had to do next.

* * *

Cady smacked aggressively at Janis's doorbell. The poor doorbell hadn't done anything to her, but she needed to keep hold of this determination as long as possible, or she'd chicken out again. And unfortunately, that determination was awfully close to aggression.

The door swung open to reveal a sneering Damian. And let it be known that Damian was _not_ a sneering person. Cady's determination wavered a bit.

"Hey, Damian." She jutted out her chin, trying to look as intimidating as possible despite her small size. Damian clearly was not pleased to see her, so she needed as much umph as possible in order to get inside. _Just make it inside_ , she told herself. _Then worry about everything else._

"I need to talk to Janis," Cady announced, preparing herself for a fight.

"She doesn't want to see you," Damian said bluntly. "And frankly, neither do I."

He started to shut the door, but Cady slipped a hand inside the doorframe. Damian scowled and stopped. No matter how mad he was at Cady, he was still above smashing her fingers in a doorjamb. Cady took that as a good sign. Which was an excellent indicator of how low her standards were, but she powered on anyway.

"Dam, please," she said quietly, then instantly cursed herself for sounding so weak. "I just need to tell her something. Literally just three tiny words is all I need. Then you can kick me out."

Damian raised an eyebrow as if he knew exactly what three words Cady needed to say. "And why couldn't you have said these words last night? You know, before she went home and cried for a solid five hours straight?"

"Because..." Cady struggled to hold on to her last remaining shred of defiance. "I don't know, Damian, just, please let me see her."

"Why should I?"

"Damian, please!" Cady's voice was rising in desperation.

"Is that Cady?" a voice asked quietly from somewhere beyond the door.

Damian eyed Cady. "One second." Cady reluctantly removed her fingers from the doorjamb.

The door closed, and Cady heard the faint murmur of voices behind it.

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened again to reveal a defeated Damian.

"I stand corrected," he admitted. "She said she'll give you five minutes of her time."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. But I'm staying in the room with you, and the second you say something dumb I will literally throw you out of this house."

Before Cady could stop herself, she threw her arms around Damian. "Thank you, thank you!"

"Cady," Damian warned.

"Right, sorry," she said, dropping her arms. Damian gestured her inside.

And there she was. Cady was caught off guard at the sight of her friend. Janis's hair was up in a loose bun, strands sticking to her face, which was red and puffy. She was wearing loose sweatpants and a hoodie, face free of makeup. Cady's heart broke all over again at the pure sadness radiating off of the other girl.

"Jan..." she whispered weakly, stretching out a hand toward her friend. Janis batted it away.

"Your five minutes are ticking away, Heron," she said flatly, voice surprisingly even for someone who had clearly been crying for hours on end. "Talk."

"Okay," Cady nodded, steeling herself. "Okay. I just wanted to say... God, I don't know how to say this without sounding fake."

"Better figure it out quick," Janis gestured to Damian, who held up his phone. On his screen, a timer ticked away the seconds.

Cady scowled at him. "You're actually timing me?"

"Yes, so I would focus up if I were you."

"Okay, okay! Jesus." Cady turned back to Janis. "Listen, I didn't mean what I said to you last night. I know you're not in love with me. And even if you were, it was still a shitty thing to say. I was being a bad friend and you had every right to be angry at me, I shouldn't have implied that you were being clingy or something just because you were upset that I abandoned you. And I want you to know..." she took a deep breath. "I'm gay too. Well, bi. And I've been in love with you since day one. That probably makes what I did to you even worse, but you deserve to know. And I'm so, so sorry that I turned into a Plastic. I didn't mean to, but just somewhere along the way I got caught up in the sparkly fantasy of it and... I don't know. I forgot why I was doing it."

Janis's face was stony. If she was surprised by anything Cady had just confessed, she was doing an excellent job hiding it. "And why were you doing it?"

"For you," Cady said with a shrug, half smiling. "I wanted to make you happy. And I wanted to take down the person who hurt you. Instead I just hurt you more, and I'm so sorry."

"What about _Aaron?"_ Janis spit his name out like it was an insult.

"Fucking Aaron," Cady muttered. "I lied about liking him. I didn't think it would... whatever. I've literally had like three conversations with him ever. I only said I liked him because I didn't want anyone to know who I really wanted to be with."

Janis snorted. "Oh, I get it. You were ashamed of liking the space dyke."

"Loving," Cady corrected, and Janis rolled her eyes as if it were the same thing. This time, though, Cady caught a hint of... _something_ in the other girl's eyes. She couldn't place what it was, exactly, but it was something other than hate, which was good. "And no, it wasn't even about you, really, it was more about me not being able to admit that I was in love with a girl."

Janis considered this, then shrugged. "Okay."

"What do you mean, okay?"

"Okay, nice speech, thanks for letting me know." She flopped down on the couch, waving a hand around. "Fly away, little birdie."

Cady hesitated, glancing at Damian. His face was softer now. Clearly he'd been more moved by Cady's confession than Janis had.

"She still has two minutes left on her timer, Jan," he said softly, and Cady shot him a grateful look.

"Jesus Christ, really? That felt like an eternity," Janis grunted.

"Jan. Stop being a bitch," Damian chided gently. "Don't you have anything to say about Cady's speech?"

"I said it was nice."

"Janis."

"Fine," she sighed, then glanced over at Cady. "You got it wrong."

Cady frowned. "Huh?"

"You said you know I'm not in love with you. You got it wrong." Janis picked at a loose thread on the couch. "That's why it fucking hurt. Because you said it like an insult. Like it would be bad if I was."

"I..." Cady shook her head slowly, trying to keep up. "Um. Okay. Well. It's not. For the record. I was just being stupid."

"Nah, you said it for a reason." Janis waved a hand. "S'okay."

Cady sat down on the couch beside Janis. "Jan, are you kidding me right now? I literally just told you that I'm madly in love with you, of course it's not a bad thing if you feel the same. I only said what I said because I was drunk and scared and for some reason I just thought of Regina and all of a sudden I was spitting out her words instead of mine because it was easier." Cady placed a tentative hand over Janis's. "I don't want to do things the easy way anymore, though. Not if it means losing you."

From the corner of the room, a timer went off. Cady's five minutes were up. She and Damian looked expectantly at Janis, waiting for the verdict. She alone held the power to decide if Cady could stay or not.

Janis sighed. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have forced you to spy on the Plastics." She smiled. "Friends?"

Cady's heart sank a little, but she nodded. "Yeah. Friends."

Janis held out a hand, and they shook on it. Before Cady pulled away, Janis grinned. "I'm just kidding. Come here." She tugged on Cady's hand and pulled her into a kiss. Damian clapped joyfully as Cady wrapped her arms around Janis's neck, smiling against the other girl's mouth. They came up for air after a long moment, and Cady curled up against Janis's side.

"Oh, hey, I should warn you guys," Cady said, remembering Regina. "Regina knows about the party and she's pretty pissed. I'm sure she's gonna unleash holy hell at school on Monday. So be prepared for, like, Burn Book 2.0 or something."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Janis assured her. "Regina doesn't have much power left."

"Yeah, but she still has an entire book full of phrases like 'Janis Sarkisian is a space dyke', so."

"Ha!" Janis poked Cady's side. "I knew you were lying when you said I wasn't in it."

Cady blushed. "I was trying to protect your feelings."

"It'd take more than that to hurt my feelings, Caddy."

"I know that _now,"_ Cady murmured, though internally she was rejoicing at the return of her nickname.

Janis kissed the top of her head. "It'll be okay."

And maybe she was being naïve, but Cady couldn't help but believe her.

**Author's Note:**

> do y’all ever just... love a ship so much that you literally just wanna explode??? bc,,, same. clearly.


End file.
